Why People Say Having a Private Advocate Is Like “Having a Nurse in the Family”

When you’re in the middle of a medical crisis, everything feels overwhelming—especially if you don’t have someone in your corner who understands the healthcare system from the inside out.

For me, that realization came on what should have been a celebratory cruise.

We were marking my in-laws’ 50th wedding anniversary when my father-in-law suffered a life-threatening event onboard. As an ICU nurse, I shifted into professional mode and stayed behind with him in a small hospital in Belize. What followed over the next six weeks was a harrowing journey of misdiagnoses, fragmented care, near-fatal complications, and repeated ICU admissions after we got him home.

“I just thought I was doing my normal ICU nurse critical thinking thing,”

I later reflected, “but I was astounded at the near misses, neglect, egos, and poor communication that threatened his life.”

He survived. But not everyone is that fortunate.

That experience opened my eyes. If someone like me—trained, assertive, and well-connected in medicine—had to push that hard to keep my loved one safe, what happens to patients who don’t have a nurse in the family?

The Truth About the Healthcare System Today

Let’s be honest: Healthcare in the U.S. is complex, fragmented, and—at times—dangerous. Patients are discharged without answers. Diagnoses are missed. Communication breaks down. And families are left to figure it out on their own.

That’s why private patient advocates are becoming essential.

We’re not just a luxury anymore—we’re a lifeline.

Just recently, I was contacted by a grandmother traveling overseas who was desperate to help her young granddaughter. The child had been hospitalized for three days with excruciating abdominal pain and no clear answers.

The family was bewildered, helpless—and getting ready to give up. Until they reached out.

“Receiving your advice was a game-changer,” the family shared.

“We didn’t know to ask for a specialist or even consider changing hospitals.”

I suggested involving a pediatric gastroenterologist. When the hospital revealed their specialist only came once a week and had already visited, I recommended a transfer to a nearby children’s hospital.

Within hours, the child had a diagnosis—celiac disease.

She received proper treatment, avoided more unnecessary narcotics, and was back at school within days.

It Wasn’t Just a Win—It Was a Wake-Up Call

“The feeling of helplessness was overwhelming until I thought of contacting you,” the grandmother wrote.

“You have not asked for a penny, but your advice was invaluable.”

Stories like this are why I do what I do.

They’re why so many of us in the advocacy world have chosen to step outside traditional roles and into a field where we can protect, guide, and empower patients and families every single day.

Whether we’re navigating a foreign hospital, pushing back against dismissive doctors, or simply suggesting the right question to ask—it’s what advocates do.

And for many families, it truly is like having a nurse in the family.

If you’re a nurse, doctor, or care provider and know there’s a better way, consider what it might look like to become a professional patient advocate.

Because the truth is: the system needs more of us.

And more families need you.